How to deal with the feeling of FOMO?

Submitted 2 years, 9 months ago by

I was wondering, how do you deal with the feeling of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) in Hearthstone or any other game?

I am pretty sure I have never missed out on a daily or weekly quest and I recently completed the entire Rewards Track (for the second time) with a full month to spare. I have to attribute these personal feats mostly to FOMO.

I have played other games in the past which consumed most of my spare time and my only working solution so far was to complelety abandon them. Since I am a Hearthstone whale I cannot rationally convince myself to repeat the same thing nor should it be necessary I feel.

  • NebuchadnezzarHS's Avatar
    Supporter 2035 1411 Posts Joined 06/14/2019
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago

    I was wondering, how do you deal with the feeling of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) in Hearthstone or any other game?

    I am pretty sure I have never missed out on a daily or weekly quest and I recently completed the entire Rewards Track (for the second time) with a full month to spare. I have to attribute these personal feats mostly to FOMO.

    I have played other games in the past which consumed most of my spare time and my only working solution so far was to complelety abandon them. Since I am a Hearthstone whale I cannot rationally convince myself to repeat the same thing nor should it be necessary I feel.

    1
  • Thraxus's Avatar
    1060 339 Posts Joined 05/08/2020
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago

    FOMO is a psychological / emotional issue. I avoid it by looking at it from a rational perspective.

    I tend to look at the whole issue from an economic angle. HS like other games not only consumes your money but also, in my mind much more important, your time. Time is a resource which comes with an opportunity cost. Opportunity cost in essence means giving something up in order to get something. In the case of video games what you get is fun or a sense of satisfaction. What you invest is your time, which could have been invested otherwise. For example hanging out with friends, reading a good book or whatever you like. You have to weigh your options. 

    When you chase the next achievement or try to complete the battlepass just think about what other things you like you could spend this time for. In other words what is the cost and what are the gains. If I come to the conclusion it is worth it then I do it, if not I just stop and spend my time differently. Or more simple: Do I have fun or not?

    Example: I have been playing since Blackrock (?) and have never achieved Legend. The reason for this is I just don't think that it is worth. D5 is usually a breeze for me but then the grind starts and my fun stops. My personal cost is getting too high at this point and outweighs the sense of satisfaction I might get.  Therefore I just stop and do something else. That being said for others it might be totally worth it. After all the whole issue is largely subjective.

    English is not my native language, so please excuse occasional mistakes

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  • DragonDraena's Avatar
    640 449 Posts Joined 08/10/2021
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago

    Neb, are you feeling like you might miss out on tasks/quests/rewards? I think you and I both play enough that the slots are empty by the end of the day/week. 

    Or are you wishing you cared a little less about Hearthstone? Is it taking up too much space in your brain? 

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  • NebuchadnezzarHS's Avatar
    Supporter 2035 1411 Posts Joined 06/14/2019
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago
    Quote From DragonDraena

    Neb, are you feeling like you might miss out on tasks/quests/rewards? I think you and I both play enough that the slots are empty by the end of the day/week. 

    Or are you wishing you cared a little less about Hearthstone? Is it taking up too much space in your brain? 

    When new quests arrive, the daily quest slot is empty again within minutes and the weekly quest slots are usually empty within the same day.

    You have actually asked the perfect question DragonDraena, I would very much want to care less about Hearthstone.

    Before the introduction of the Rewards Track I just cleared the dailies and I played a few longer stretches here and there. However, my playtime has skyrocketed since then.

    Also, my browser homepage is set to this wonderful community site and I still visit Hearthpwn because I noticed in the past some Hearthstone news was missing over here. This means besides playing the actual game, I still consume Hearthstone content during offtime.

    Furthermore, I always collect the free packs from official Hearthstone events even when I absolutely do not need them because new expansions are usually completely collected within days after their launch.

    I still like and enjoy Hearthstone very much, but it has become so noticeably time consuming that it cannot possibly be considered healthy even from a bystanders point of view. My brain is somehow taking me hostage and trapping me inside a Hearthstone universe or dimension for the past couple of years.

    By the way, I highly doubt dropping this game entirely will have a lasting positive effect because history tends to repeat itself over and over again. Hearthstone was not the first game where I had this recurring feeling. Although it is clearly the worst "offender" of them all.

    PS.: Even discussing this addiction somehow feels like adding time towards Hearthstone "imprisonment".

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  • NebuchadnezzarHS's Avatar
    Supporter 2035 1411 Posts Joined 06/14/2019
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago

    @Thraxus: I completely agree with all your sensible reasoning when I read your thoughtful comment.

    Unfortunately for me, in the eyes of the beholder (or prisoner in my case) all this logic seems to fade away somehow when I think about Hearthstone.

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  • DragonDraena's Avatar
    640 449 Posts Joined 08/10/2021
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago

    It might add a little time to your daily total, but I think that talking about HS addiction/imprisonment/overuse is the first step toward some relief. 

    So, in that spirit, good job recognizing the problem. 

    For me, I do play HS daily, and I do visit OOC almost daily, but I'm enjoying it as a balance to my other activities/responsibilities and not feeling trapped/imprisoned. 

    Can we check your balance? (It is my intention to say all this in a loving/respectful way. I know internet communication can be tricky.) What else takes up space in your brain? 

     

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  • NebuchadnezzarHS's Avatar
    Supporter 2035 1411 Posts Joined 06/14/2019
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago

    @DragonDraena: Thanks for the kind words of encouragement!

    I had to think twice before realizing which balance you were asking about. Your question is of course not related to my in-game gold and arcane dust totals (which are plentiful), but how I spend my daily time besides consuming different forms of Hearthstone content 😅

    Honestly, Hearthstone has been my one and only hobby for the past few years. This used to be a big excuse of mine to spend a decent chunk of money on this game. Hence my earlier comment about being a whale. The huge influx of new cosmetics and its higher frequency in 2021 finally made me stop collecting all the paid unique DLC. I am really glad I at least managed to convince myself to spend less money on this game.

    Also, not really able to go outside and meet up with family and friends during most of the pandemic naturally did not help me out either. At home, most of my leisure time is usually going towards watching TV, browsing the internet randomly and playing Hearthstone.

    If only there was some other hobby that would interest me more, which would probably soak up some time from Hearthstone. However, it would not surprise me at all if that new thing would eventually replace Hearthstone and become the new major "offender".

    One more important thing to consider in this discussion is that my general view of the world and its inhabitants has become a lot more negative since the COVID-19 pandemic started. The current war in Ukraine also does not improve my opinion about my fellow Europeans. I do not know whether including health and political issues is useful, but it is an undeniable influence on (my) daily life.

    My own self diagnosis: "I seem to be trapped inside a negative feedback loop" 😔

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  • Crusader2010's Avatar
    Garrosh 695 296 Posts Joined 05/30/2019
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago

    @NebuchadnezzarHS

    I'll write some long piece of s*t text in the hope that you'll find something useful in it. Don't take anything personally (i.e. in a bad way) since that isn't the intent. 

    Firstly, i have to start with some psychology and the fact that it seems to me you are portraying yourself as sort of a victim and looking for some kind of savior (i.e. perfect answer) from the community. Unfortunately, this isn't healthy to do, since the only person who can "save" yourself is YOU. We need to be sympathetic and supportive, but the answer MUST come from YOU. Otherwise nothing will ever change and you risk even slipping further away from your desire (because no one can really integrate in their brain an answer coming from "outside" rather than "inside", which leads to some disassociative behavior etc). There is something called a "circle of desire" and you stopped at taking real and meaningful action. Asking for an answer is not action, but an attempt of your subconscious (and inner saboteur) to delay solving the issue or to try and go around it. Why? No idea. The answer lies within you.

    Thus, i'll try my best to not give any concrete answers to the problem at hand. Yet, i will say this: all the answers you ever require can only come from knowing yourself better. Constant evolution of your inner self and trying to match your feelings and your thoughts so that you are not broken. Now, enough with this :)

     

    Secondly, some background about myself. I'm 37, engineer, working in programming, currently also studying law (second university), with an interest in strategy games (long ones!). I'm divorced, having a 2 year-old son, and a girlfriend that wants a kid of her own. I try to do my job as fast as possible so as to have enough time during the day to study for law school. As you can imagine, my time is limited to say the least. Nice to meet you :)

     

    Thirdly, i'll provide some background for my gaming evolution and my perception of it. The relevant-to-our-discussion parts, of course.

     

    I've been playing HS since beta, and had played WoW for like 5 years since Burning Crusade (stopped after they nerfed the dungeons in Cataclysm). Classic HS (same as BC WoW) was really nice. Even a few expansions after. The last one i enjoyed was the one with the christmas tree paladin. Everything was beatable! If you wanted long games, you could have them. Same for fast ones.

    The more cards they added, the worse the game got. I was never really into stupid grinding (probably have some issues from my WoW days), so i never got to legend because it felt silly and useless. After some time it became very clear that they were catering to teenagers more and more (same happened in wow). I really hated that because the quality dropped.

    Fast forward into the present, i cringe when i read Iksar's responses to AMAs. I curse their so-called designers and see how much they lack imagination compared to other people in the community. I loathe the laziness that goes into this game every round, and has happened for years.

    When they realeased these quests (and even before with all the mana cheating) it was even more clear they want HS to become a toilet game (i.e. play while you poop). Class identity is crap and has been for a while. Faster and faster games means less thinking required. In other words, this game is definitely not for me (remember, i enjoy long strategy games; i recently bought Distant Worlds 2 and having a blast! Playing the largest galaxy size every time. It doesn't matter that i don't finish most games - the fun for me is in the beginning, the initial expansions etc).

    There is so much crap happening in constructed HS that it's extremely frustrating to lose (and has been for a while now). There are many PC games i lose at, but it's never this frustrating. For example even in HS - Battlegrounds and Arena. The amount of tilt is very low compared to Standard. Why? Because most of the time you can do something (here we can have a long discussion, if you ever want to, on what my perception of Arena is and what i've realized over time, the barriers, how to mulligan in certain cases etc).

    In other words, i mostly play arena now, with some BGs here and there. But, to play arena, i need gold. Which means i need to complete daily and weekly quests. I have 1 standard deck - quest hunter - which i play in bronze to get SOME stuff completed more quickly - and i almost puke every game (win or lose).

    Why not pay for arena you may ask? Because blizzard went down the drain, as a company, long ago. Recent developments only confirmed that for me. I did pay for some arenas back in classic, naxx and 2-3 expansions after. But i stopped when i saw no improvements made to the game, no real power balance, more grindiness added, every new thing was a powercreep, extreme amount of useless cards being printed just to have fewer chances of getting what you actually want, etc. In other words, i'm not gonna pay 1 cent to this crap company anymore - not going to support their laziness, bad designs and complete lack of integration testing. Not even in other games ("do you guys have phones?!").

    I recently found another card game, Skyweaver, that caught my eyes. Not going to pay anything for it either since it's probably only fun at the beginning, but at least it scratches the itch for card games. What i love is its "arena mode" - 2 players play random decks based on some of the "classes" their chosen hero has. Completely free. It's also very interactive - there are lots of things to think about and ways to answer things.

    And this is what i like - a game that promotes strategic thinking! Be it a card game or an exploration space game or anything else. I do admit, i'm not really into the Dark Souls genre, since repeating the same moves for 30 minutes (to kill a mob) is not even close to "strategic", but it's something i want to explore soon (probably in elder ring).

    Currently, HS provides this strategic thinking only in arena and (to some lower extent) BGs. This is my feeling and my experience with the game. Having played a lot of games in my life, i know i'll never enjoy constructed in the form it's now. Too much clutter and too much cheating (mana, card draw etc). I enjoy being able to control the pace of the game to some extent. Randomness is good, but extreme amounts of it are bad (BGs suffer from this, but the saving grace is that the game mode is not frustrating to lose at). Arena has swings, but it's mostly about accepting the variance and trying to get on top over a longer period of time (again - strategy, but with a differently required mindset).

     

    Lastly, and as a conclusion, I hope you get something good out of my wall of text. Try to find out more things about yourself, and you'll realise what you need to do to get rid of that "inprisonment" feeling. When you realise what you enjoy, you'll know what to look for.

    Cheers!

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  • NebuchadnezzarHS's Avatar
    Supporter 2035 1411 Posts Joined 06/14/2019
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago

    @Crusader2010: Thanks for your long and very insightful response which I greatly appreciate. I have read it a few times already and it most definitely contains useful pieces of advice. By the way, nice to meet you too! ^_^

    I am not going to write in the same detail, but I will give some reflection on certain passages and try to be as objectively as I possibly can (I also have no ill intention whatsoever).

    First of all, I love psychology and long philosophical discussions which often use hypothetical situations. If not for my study of choice computer science I could very well have been studying that field instead. The human mind is absolutely fascinating and a marvel of evolution.

    I too am certain that I already hold the answer to my (self created) problem and I know that I am the only one that can make that U-turn for heading towards positivity again. The most influential person in one's life is always that person itself. Perfectionism and procrastination are two of my biggest flaws by the way. For Hearthstone, I would prefer to not make another heavy handed overkill (pull-all-the-plugs) decision again. My "outcry for help" should perhaps be best perceived as looking for similar wandering souls instead of seeking out a one size fits all silver bullet solution.

    Secondly, there is no known offspring of my own running around (yet) otherwise that would definitely soak up most if not all of my time and simultaneously "solve" my current situation (two birds, one stone).

    As for my relevant digital gaming background, I will say that I fell in love with Blizzard games with titles like: Diablo, Warcraft and Starcraft. Playing RTS games used to be one of my favorite pastimes. In real life, I was introduced to Magic: The Gathering back in 1996 and it was almost like love at first sight if that is even possible at all with a card game, lol. I loved the complexity and all the strategies involved and of course the fantasy theme. There was even a time where I qualified for nationals, but alas did not manage to extend the run to world championships. The worst part of that game was obviously its immense financial upkeep and after several years of having great fun I had to pull the plug on it.

    Fast forward to 2014 and Hearthstone bursted onto the digital cardgame scene and I finally found a less costly alternative to Magic: The Gathering. It even solved the annoying mana (land) issue and it had amazing artwork plus built-in humor (flavor) as well. I cannot pinpoint exactly where Hearthstone took the first turn for the worse, but I can safely say that the questlines of United in Stormwind were the tipping point for me and games became almost unbearable. Personally, I enjoy a longer more controllish style of gameplay and loathe the "If you cannot beat them, just join them" response.

    All other game modes besides constructed are not really my cup of tea, because I like to be in control as much as possible and the huge RNG factor of Arena for instance I simply cannot enjoy all that much. I also hated drafting in my M:TG period even when that was a necessary evil to accumulate enough tour points. I somehow managed to get my 12 wins Arena key within a very short time and I was glad I did not have to repeat that achievement ever again. It was kind of unfortunate that Team 5 decided to remove that piece of coveted artwork from my in-game statistics though. Hopefully, it will return some day soon™. I have been Legend 26 times (and counting) which means I can set the checkmark for that achievement as well. Going the distance is still a pain in the ass, especially since I lost that lovely 11* bonus a long time ago. The increasing amount of bugs in Hearthstone is also very discouraging. I mean if Team 5 seemingly no longer cares about its own game anymore, why should a long time player as myself still care?

    I agree that constructed is currently often not very enjoyable at all and it might not ever recover its once former glory time. Though I sure hope that it does in some way or another. The next rotation might help out Standard, but unfortunately I cannot imagine Wild to escape this suffering due to its eternal format. Playing constructed Hearthstone is sometimes still fun for me, so I should "simply" adapt my playtime to reflect the amount of enjoyment I can get from playing it.

    Cheers to you too and once more thanks for sharing (i.e. caring)!

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  • DragonDraena's Avatar
    640 449 Posts Joined 08/10/2021
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago

    Neb, thank you for staying home and playing Hearthstone instead of going out and spreading Covid - good call. 

    Another wise decision: not having a kid (or getting a dog)  just to fill up open time in your schedule. 

    You clearly know yourself well enough to be wary of the risk of replacing one time-consuming hobby with another. Swapping games is not the answer.

    You already proved that you can trim back your HS commitments, in the financial sense. You can very likely gain control over the hours commitment too. 

    I do want you to take a look at the total amount of screen time in your week. Computer science, HS, TV, and internet are all wonderful, but taken as a whole, that's quite a bit of sitting and staring at an electronic rectangle. How much fresh air did you breathe this week? 

    It's getting late here, so I'll leave you with this thought: if your friend/cousin/sibling came to you with the same sense of imprisonment, how would you advise them? 

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  • Alleria's Avatar
    Eevee 1275 863 Posts Joined 05/29/2019
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago

    Hey Neb, I think very highly of you, since you are very kind, mature and helpful part of this community, so I figured I might add a bit to this theme.

    I found myself addicted to HS since the beginning. I started to play early in 2014 and I instantly fell in love. It was my first card game and it was fun at first. I really enjoyed Ranked, because I could win with my silly homemade beast hunter without problems and never knew which deck I would play against. No netdecking, every deck was different, so it was exciting to queue into every match. Even losing was fun, because it was agaisnt unique, interesting deck and sending/accepting friend quest was to have a good talk/laugh about the game/deck, making friends, not to get death threats like today. 

    Fast forward to this day, it´s no fun at all anymore. Jus starting a ranked game is frustrating for me, now even winning isn´t a good feeling, because I have to queue again. Only kind of relieve is when I hit the rank floor, but after that, the stress starts again with every game. Sometimes I just stare at the play button, unable to press it, lol. I hoped that the inclusion of the new quests and achievements will make the game fun again, but nope, it was even worse. While I was ready to quit the game, suddenly I had new obsession - quest completion. Since I don´t like meta decks and gave up on getting legend, my main focus were achievements and quests. I couldn´t close the game until I complete all of the Mercenaries quests, Daily quests and Weeklies (excl. Ranked one), and in the remaining time play Duels to finish remaining XP achievements. I haven´t missed a single ranked cardback (apart from the first one), all the free Hero portraits, free cards, Brawl packs, anything that I could achieve just by playing, or simply logging in in the right time. I even took my tablet on all the holiday trips not to lose a single daily or recently mercenarie quests, or I would freak out.

    Few times when I didn´t complete Ranked quest or failed to hit a rank floor in time, I had depression for two days and didn´t to talk my friends only because of that. That was the moment, when I finally realized I have a problem. Now I´m trying to ease myself a bit, trying to stack up my quest and do them only when my quest log is full, play ranked only for quest with the deck I like, not stressing about winning or losing. Training Grounds helped a lot too - now I don´t need to max out all my mercenaries by playing, I just train them there - this saved me hours a day :P

    I don´t want to completely quit HS, since it´s the only game I play and I´ve spend some cash in it too, but now I´m trying to focus more on my other hobbies, friends and family. I go out more, meet/talk to friends, help grandma with groceries, or stay home, watch some documents, play guitar, read books in foreign language for practice, do the cleaning, cooking, whatever to get my mind away from the game (and war tbh). I want to see HS the way it is - a game to enjoy and clear my mind from work, not a main interest in my whole life, like it was before. Maybe it will help you to find something you´ll enjoy more, something that will take your time and focus more than HS, but just like Crusader2010 above had said, it´s solely up to you - I can´t tell you to go and learn new language or bike outside, if it´s not your kind of thing you´d be interested in. Is there anything that you wanted to try but didn´t have time on it? F.e. right now I´m trying to figure out how to fulfill my biggest dream - to learn archery :D

    Anyway, good luck with whatever you´ll do, even if you´ll stay with HS as your main. If you can´t stay away for too long, maybe you could do some Legend couching or play silly games with friends? Either way, you can always talk to us. Take care.

    P.S. Sorry for the wall, didn´t expect to write so long, it just came out itself XD

    ♡ u 4ever 2008 - 2022

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  • anchorm4n's Avatar
    Harbinger of Winter 1915 2510 Posts Joined 03/13/2019
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago

    I just stumbled over this thread and I want to thank everybody for their contrubitions so far. There are direct and indirect pieces of advice all over the place that might help me improve my situation as well. I don't want to go into too much detail, but way too much screentime is a big part of it. Alas, knowing what the right thing to do is and acting upon that knowledge is a huge difference.

    I notice I am confused. Something I believe isn't true. How do I know what I think I know?
    Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres, hpmor.com

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  • NebuchadnezzarHS's Avatar
    Supporter 2035 1411 Posts Joined 06/14/2019
    Posted 2 years, 9 months ago

    Thank you all for sharing your personal stories and great advice. I truly appreciate all your positive feedback.

    Starting today, my goal is to cut back on my daily time spent on this wonderful community site which unfortunately also means having less interactions with you nice people. For sure, I will stop posting my complaints about the ongoing state of the game since it was getting repetitive and did not serve any meaningful purpose anyways. I was just venting my frustrations over and over again for which I have concluded was actually trapping me inside a negative downwards spiral. Thus, I will return to my personal mantra of "If what you are about to say is negative, keep it to yourself instead."

    As for actually playing Hearthstone, I will keep my focus on the parts I still enjoy (as long as it lasts) like completing quests, achievements and attempting to reach Legend every now and then.

    Good luck to you all and have lots of fun, cheers! 👋

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