Bluetracker

Tracks Blizzard employees across various accounts.

Kobold Gentrification

I've lived in this mine all my life. I grew up here, raised my own kids here, seen them leave to their own mine. Sure, I may have had my candle taken once or twice in this neighborhood, but it always worked out in the end. This will always be my home. It's all I've ever known.

But lately things ain't what they used ta be. NEW Kobolds are moving in and they don't share our, ahem, sensibilities. Used ta be a Kobold could hang his hat on two things: mining, and Spell Damage. It's a simple life, but it gets us by.

But I was out at the store the other day, you know the one on the corner, been there since '68. You can always count on them for fresh candle wax, magical incantations, what have you. And yet the other day I go in there and I sees they're selling these "Totems". What the hell is a Totem, anyway? All kinds of totems they had, healing, searing, even "fidget totems". I was beside myself.

But that's not all, obviously the big story locally is the new Library goin' up. What kinda self-respecting Kobold would be caught dead engagin' in book learnin'? Ain't no book gonna tell you anything our canary can't. She singin' and chirpin'? You're right as rain. She met her maker? Well, it's quittin' time.

I've about had it with these changes, I miss the way things was. A buddy of mine got a new job as an "Illusionist". Says he makes 1/1s all day. Well you know what? You can't put 1/1s on the dinner table each night. Says he loves the work but he's living in a studio apartment. That ain't no way ta live.

Basically what I'm saying is, I'm real concerned our neighborhood, our culture is bein' destroyed by this new generation of Kobolds. Y'all remember Spirit Claws? Hoo-Wee! What an age! Kobolds far as the eye could see. We was livin'!

Nowdays you can't show your face without feeling ashamed. Sure, you could make a livin' recyclin' weapons but no one respects ya. Yer just a Dirty Rat.

I really hope, in the comin' days, someone reaches a hand out to us common Spell Damage folk. We been waitin' an awful long time for our Spell Damage to be useful. If not now, when?...

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