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Hi, I love descriptions, and I've reworked Jhin's passive description to make things a little clearer.
The first part:
Jhin’s gun - Whisper - chambers four shots, the last of which always crits and applies extra damage based on a portion of his target’s missing health. After firing all four shots, Jhin takes a moment to reload.
Is reasonable enough. You could drop the 'portion of' but that's nitpicking.
Now the messy part:
Jhin’s crits deal less damage than normal, and his attack speed doesn’t actually scale with attack speed. Instead, Jhin gains attack damage from any attack speed and crit chance he earns through itemization and runes, while crits give him a burst of movement based on his attack speed.
The key information here is as follows:
- Jhin's crits do less damage than other champions
- Jhin's attack speed is not increased by attack speed items and runes
- Jhin gains attack damage from attack speed items and runes, and from crit chance items and runes
- Jhin's crits give him a burst of movement based on attack speed
Ok, so let's rework this:
Jhin's crits deal less damage than normal and give Jhin a burst of movement based on attack speed. Attack speed and crit chance from Jhin's items and runes will give Jhin attack damage, but will not increase his attack speed.
This is more concise, and hopefully you all find it clearer.
NOTE: I have deliberately not said "movement speed" here as Riot did not do so in the original description. It could be the case that the speed is not specifically move speed (but unlikely).
NOTE: It's not clear whether all crit chance is converted to attack damage, but we can assume it is not (this is also an issue with the original description).
fizznchips
Oh for sure! We try to be as consistent and concise as possible, but things sometimes slip through the gaps, and as the years progress we generally get better at writing tooltips, making older stuff pretty rusty in comparison. We try to keep things on an even keel as much as possible, though. I believe we're cleaning up the language for the ability description on Jhin's upcoming champion page, which is generally much more evergreen than a reveal.
fizznchips
NO MORE INTERNET FOR YOU.
fizznchips
Hey guys! Writer of reveals here, and yes - this is super easy to read! Obviously it's too late to update the reveal - we'd add the passive E in if we could, too - but I'll probably thieve some of the logic for the spotlight script.
Splendid work!
fNc
P.S. I often add in placeholder ability names to draft reveal copy. I had this passive down as "MAKES SENSE TO GYPSY!"
fizznchips
They all can, the fourth is guaranteed to.
fizznchips
They all can, the fourth is guaranteed to.
fizznchips
They all can, the fourth is guaranteed to.
fizznchips
Timing and moving parts, mostly! We try to make sure all the articles we publish are the same across all the languages we support, so there's localization time that we'd need to factor in. On top of that, depending on the scope of the changes, we'd sometimes have to get visual design involved in making tweaks, which later impacts the web development team, too. I'll speak to the guys and see what we can do, but I think we're going to use cleaner language in Jhin's champion page. :)