500 upvotes on reddit and still no word from Riot

https://www.reddit.com/r/LegendsOfRuneterra/comments/14ulav1/my_changes_to_siren_song/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

To be fair these ideas are awful

The siren song fix is literally very simple

1 make it 5 mana

2 make it so it doesn't buff xolani

People will say oh no that will slow xolani down significantly

but my response is when did Xolani become the number 1 finisher in every deck ever?

1 drop aggro deck xolani

midrange evelyn deck xolani

bilgewater poro deck? If it could fit xolani and siren song it would trust me

So maybe we just don't let xolani turbo off a card that buffs 1 mana units under the established mana curve?

crazy thought

maybe the game isn't supposed to have 1 mana 10/10s or 7 mana 32/32?

seems kinda unbalanced and borderline broken

maybe we don't do that at all?

maybe we see champ based decks see a massive resurgance in popularity?

maybe the 3 new champs released with this set actually matter?

crazy right?

But honestly give people a dust refund on xolati if you have to

certain decks can still run him as the meme he's supposed to be

sandmen xolati for example

he's meant to be a niche card

not the biggest creature in the entire game bar none

he literally upsets the stat distribution curve of every other card in the entire game

for as long as siren song interacts with him the way it does

buff deck by 1+1, summon a buffed creature, summon more buffed creatures for cheap, swing with creatures

boom 7 mana 32/32 and its hella fast

faster than anything else in the game

that 1 mana 10/10 and 7 mana 32/32 makes ramp look like a fucking joke

asol who's that? dragon of the universe or something?

nope that random 7 mana darken card is exodia the obliterator

he is the king of LOR

the destroyer of worlds

thanos snap

It isn't lore appropriate, it isn't gameplay appropriate, and it isn't fun most of all

so yeah 500 upvotes riot hotfix your damn game

yeah so that was a 9/8 by mana 8

that was literally on par for the curve

I know what youre trying to do and youre wrong

viego is not bigger than sirens song decks

and I'll let you open swing into my nexus all day long

cuz I still don't care about your point

because it's invalid

stop being an idiot an 8 mana 9/8 is not bigger than a 7 mana 32/32 it is not bigger than a 1 mana 10/10

if it was people would fucking play viego and they dont!

want to know why?

cuz he's bad!!!!!!!!!!!

like don't get me wrong I'm no stranger to bad

I'm stuck here trying to make Riot's 3 new champions work

but bad is bad sorry

So if we are all done being smart asses

can we acknowledge that 500 people think that siren song is busted

and that xolati is busted

can we acknowledge that the 500 people might know better than 1 Majin Bae?

can we acknowledge that?

can we do the human thing, the democratic thing, and understand that math is math

that trump wasn't voted president because you feel that way

he wasn't voted president because he didn't get the god damn votes

so yes siren song Xolati is objectively broken

as in the developers gone fucked up

and 500 people agree

so stop being a smart ass and start begging riot for a fix

Like for god sakes poro king is a 5 mana 4/4 from Riot

a 5 mana 4/4 naked

no keywords

and all he does is make poro treats

that are more efficient to main deck

hahahahaahahaha

and they release that at the same time as a 4 mana deck wide buffer that also summons an additional buff body with keyword at the same time?

do you have any idea how good that is?

how do you even evaluate that fairly?

like okay so on average a 4 mana card represents a 10/10 buff across one game 20/20 if played twice?

then you get the immediate effect of additional stats and keywords on the next body

then theres a 7 mana card that eats all those buffs and goes from a 2/2 to a 32/32?

and poro king is a 5 mana 4/4?

balance!!!!!

I'm willing to acknowledge that Riot gutted their card game studio

so the smart people who crafted the initial bilgewater expansion are probably all gone by now

but I'm fairly certain if any of them were left

they would say

ummm guys can we not encourage people to spam 1 drops with a global deck wide buff

We want people to play gangplank he was just released and he's cool

we want our champs to be good

not random 1 drops

k thanks scrap that card

I feel that way about Nidalle and Poro king

I think they are awesome well designed cards in a game that is progressively less awesome and well designed

let's release diana a 2 mana champ that can challenge things with quick attack

that's really powerful though so lets straddle her with a nightfall condition

later on hey lets release samara she does everything that diana does but better in bilge water

and people are like wow Samara is the new standard for champ design

noooooooooo

Yes I got to masters with her because she straddles that line between busted and not busted (closer to the sweaty end)

but she is not "well designed" 

she is not interesting

she is not well themed

she is just the new elise

aka the biggest best value 2 mana champion that is essentially free

so I would much rather see Riot pull back on the power creep with the siren songs the 1 mana 10.10s the 7 mana 32/32s 

pull back on all that shit with the next patch

and buff the themed champs released for this set

make nidallee summon javelin on level up

lux does it for lazer and lux is waaaaay better and she was vanilla

Give poro king tough, he's the king hes supposed to be tough, it will make him slightly less snap removable

for bird lady, she just needs more variety cards I don't actually think she's bad maybe a little too strict on her level up

but her flip stats are nuts and her effect is nuts.

so maybe just level her with 5 swings instead of 6?

demanding that a champ go 6 wide to level is a tough pill to swallow

and while youre at it make poro king easier to level

nidalle levels easily but she just doesn't dooooo anything

So I think if you do all that

hard buff the 3 champs

hard nerf siren song and xolati

if you do that this set will be sucessful

as it stands it's a fucking train wreck

and 500 people agree even if they can't articulate their thoughts correctly

but I can

I promise I won't be mad if zoo or poro tribal becomes meta

I won't be mad if the new champions you released end up doing new champ things

I am mad that a random 4 mana common spell has defined an entire format

that I'm mad about

and I won't ever stop being mad about it till it gets fixed

just like 500 other people

you guys are funny I mention elise and the next game is spider aggro

you know that I'm not trying to win right?

in casual que

I'm literally just fucking around till things get fixed?

you know that right?

youre not dumb?

you have a brain?

like why bother trying to win when I don't have eternal ladder?

Riot insists on making me wait 3 months every season so I can climb

and standard is a mess

So I'm just gonna play what I want how I want till winning actually matters again

thats me doing my thing

you do yours

try harding like it means something

yes I will spend 10 mana on a thermo into a deny

cuz again nothing matters till the fixes happen

we are all just jerking each other off

fun times

oh wow you beat a vanilla yordle tribal deck with no spells

thats so indicitive of math

not like the deck has a massive negative winrate

and your version was terrible

but yeah gottyyyyyy

500 people....500

does it need to be 5000

does it need to be 50000

does it need to be 500000

when does sense make sense?

when is math math?

you think I give a shit about us jacking each other off in casual que?

please go for it take my spunk all over your face

I need the release

Oh wow I won 1 game with transform

gg shen emote

wooooooow

best deck in the game

I'm making a point that defies math and sense

transform best deck in the game

wooooow gg

ggggggggg

gggggggggggggg

no one gives fuck

read the math

read reddit

fix your game

woooow transform just won 2 games

best deck in the game guys

balance doesn't matter

math doesn't matter

cuz anecdotal experiences are everything

all joking aside I've literally won a 100 games with that transform deck cuz I'm the  eternal king

I just don't feel like playing seriously when things are this busted

yeah you got mad and then you went meta

you see your anecdotal experiences

and mine don't mean anything

I can kick your ass up and down the pavement with the worst deck in the game

and it doesn't

it literalyl doesn't

and you can kick my ass up and down the pavement with all the try hard bullshit at your disposal

but guess what

math is math

500 is 500

and fixes need to happen

I don't see you running any of the new champs

I see a lot of sett

which was last expansion

don't you?

wooow sure did a lot with your azir and bird lady there didn't you?

youre sure qualified to know what is and isn't new champ balance aren't you?

meanwhile you just got your ass kicked by transform

I know the underplayed archetypes

I know how to make the trash good again

youre just a filthy try hard

you need 1 champ, he already exists, and the game might as well be over for you

well don't make the rest of our lives miserable because of it

wow transform is the best deck in the game guys

cuz it beat Baaaaaard

holly fuck baaaaaard

omg top tier

nifty too strong

majin was right

game totally balanced

no....

plus it didn't help that your bard deck was balls

I could fix it for you

you're really bad at just value champs that need to level to do things

youre awful with those

wait Nifty how do I play this deck

why can't I just copy and paste your list and win

why won't it auto pilot broken shit for me?

that's cuz youre trash

anyways plz fix Riot

I'm getting tired of swatting these try hards like flies

just because they don't understand the value in underplayed archetypes

sorry I got bored and zoned out

what were you doing again?

like I go against a million of these brews a day

you couldn't make bard work

you tried to copy me on nidalee and failed

you couldn't make undir work

I guess something there as supposed to be a discard deck

I just zoned out

any of these archetypes can be built well

any of them can be played well

instead it's just

meme or competivie

and nothing else in between

the reality is you should have won with undir

you should have won with bard

 and you should have won with copying me on transform

but you didn't

so when I say poro king can be made playable after siren song nerfs

I mean poro king can be made playable after siren song nerfs

it's not a maybe thing

it a sure thing

because I am the best brewer in LOR with bad arechetypes

hands down

oh no nifty

I'm gonna vi emote you

because you won with akshan ambush

it's not possible that you could ever win with that crap into aggro

why you so good with bad decks?

idk why can't you win with spider aggro?

it's literally spider aggro

its spider tribal

come on

what happened you no likey big cat girl?

but sheeees sooooo baddddddd

imagine when she isn't literally worse then every other champion

then I might actually get to have fun

I'm just fucking around

you knew I could draw right?

that's what akshan does

I was just curious if your aphelios deck had any wincons after I killed all of them

right?

yeah?

just fucking around?

yes no?

you no bueno your champions

you no do nothing with them?

you no win game?

yes no?

Aphelios and Viktor are amazing cards

Most people pump and dump them

In fact you were pumping and dumping everything in your deck

Youre just hoping to what r and g into something off your heal?

Can't you literally do that better in any other deck?

Yeeeesh

You guys are bad

Dude you dumped every temo and catlyn you had hahahahahaha

And you had 0 mushrooms in deck

And then you just burned me out

You could literally do that better eith any other deck

God damn you're fucking awful

Hahahahahaha

Like I'm literally not swinging any game and meming by building up my Champs

Ans killing every champ you have

Just to prove a point

Ans you're too dumb to realize it

Like youre a mushroom deck and you're not mushrooming

You're a catlyn deck and you're not catlyning

What are you doing!?

What does scissors have to do with Nora you dumb mother fucker

Jesus this is yesterday all over again

It's just the fucking same try hard patterns over and over

You have no idea how to play 90% of the Champs in thr game do you?

It's okay it's fine 🙂 

I'm cool dumb people gonna dumb

Beaters gonna beat

Good times

Okay I'm gonna tell you how to build that catlyn deck okay?

I'm gonna build it for you and include the list

Because mushrooms is actually a good deck

Just like your bad undir

And your bad bard

And every other bad deck you make

I'LL BUILD IT FOR YOU

Here you go!

CQDACAYECQAQKCVGAEAQOCQJAEDQIEIEAECAQGJHGQCQKBACAYHA6GIAAEAQKCSG

This is infinitely better than what you were doing

Hahahahaha

Yep why play champions

When you can just siren song beaters

Woooooow

You literally made my point

Good job

Fantastic well done 

Hahahahahaha moron

You just made the point of 500 people yourself

By building a deck to prove your very point

You played yourself

Well Done

You won

By making the point of 500 people

You fucking joke

Oh no did you just get otked with catlyn

Thats weeeeeeird

How did that happen

She can do that?

Thats fucking broken

What card is that?

Whhhhhaaaaaat?

Stupid Jesus 

That Zed did a lot for you eh?

Not like you just built a bunch of beater followers and that's why you won?

Almost like Siren song?

Cuz that's all you know?

Rofl

Oh I forgot to mention I rebuilt ryze for Eternal

Flex flex flex

Gaaaajooooj

CUEACAIBDUAQCAROAEBQEBIBAQCAOAIGAIQACBQMAYBAEAQBAMCQOAQLBUIRGKIAAEAQCARR

Yeeeeah sometimes you don't hit landmarks

Even with ryze in board for 3 turns whatev

Sorry did the ryze win piss you off?

Such angry man

CUEACAIBDUAQCAROAEBAEAYBAMBAKAIEAQDQCBQCEAAQMDAGAYDQECILBUIRGKIAAEAQCARR

This feels pretty good some people like to meme with some more anti aggro tech but this feels solid

Cool you're literally running my decks right?

It's finally happening

Now you kind of build them.worse for thr most part

Like you fucked up poros

But thanks for the respect

Yum yum

Well I guess the eternal king has become the authority now

Hope you all had fun

Nerfs coming soon, high synergy decks gonna be good again

Easy peasy

Oh nooos the high synergy shroom deck beat elites

I'd face palm too

Almost like without Siren song

Every deck has a fighting chance?

So what is the 7 mana card doing in a rally spam deck?

He's just a beater?

Hahahahaha you're so mad

Rally spam

Then ephemeral rally spam

Why into shromes?

Gottttyyyy

I'll admit shromes are bad you got me

Sorry 

Wow

Really nailed me there

Real noodle scratcher 

Bahahahahaha

It's really funny

Like what do you think youre doing?

Youre obviously not proud of these decks

Otherwise you'd play them on ladder

So basically you're building these decks as a direct counter to me

Which means you need to counter me

Which means you're bad

So thanks

For hard countering someone fucking around in casual que

Mmmhmm

As expected I can pass every turn and your deck does nothing

Yeah see how the deck flows

Does it's thing

Isn't a piece of garbage?

Yeeeeep

Sorry I'm not gonna humor you

Everyone knows that 1 drop siren song spam is so far beyond curve that nothing else can compare

Casual 1 mana 7/8 elusive and 7/7 by turn 5

With life steal!

Let me just play my 5 mana 4/4 poro king and pretend it's a fair fight

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

You want to know the biggest joke about poro king?

You spend all this mana, and all this time and energy fighting from behind doing everything you can to not just instantly fold with your terrible deck

And then it's like wait no your champion is invalidated by 0 champion siren song spam

So not only did Riot release an underpowered champion they released a spell that simultaneously invalidated it...not in different sets but in the same set!

Hey look it's siren song in poros

It's siren song in every deck

Every deck ever

It's siren song

Every single deck

Having fun yet reddit?

I'll be honest I think the game is actually unplayable in its current state

When every deck is just pass pass siren song

Or pass pass siren song siren song 

The games entire collection of cards is irrelevant 

Why even play the game when the devs are dead set on ruining thr balance of their own card game?

Standard winrates have plummeted across the board for every non siren song related deck

Pretty soon in 3 months eternal will follow if nothing is done

And them the game will die

I feel like I'm being John Malkovich

But instead of Malkovhich Malkovich

It's just me getting sodomized by siren song siren song

I can't be the only person on the planet that is like hmmm boiling a 4 year card game down to 1 card is baaaaaad

Oh right there's 500 people who want the same thing as me