I'm not gonna play seriously into the 60% Evelyn targon deck are you crazy

Like why don't you just take every laddering shortcut before the hotfix lands?

Here I'll just carry you to masters myself

I anoint any 60% winrate Evelyn targon player the proud distinction of being auto carried to masters before the hotfix lands congratulations 

you guys know I'm not trying to win right?

Like why would I ever care what happens in casual que?

It's masters or bust

literally nothing else matters

Yep that's me kicking your ass with transform the worst deck in the game

Did it feel humiliating?

I would think so

Eternal king out!

The most straight forward solution to any problem is just forward

I hit face I play creature I hit more face

This is a winning strategy 

But sometimes just sometimes there are people who get to masters without beating their meat

And thats me

Don't gg me you waste of space your big idea is just to stick ambush in a scissors deck?

Like really?

Beat off to the beaters my friend

That meat must be getting pretty sore?

How sore can you make your meat by beating it with your beaters?

You guys are so salty it's hilarious it's like if I hit masters with poro king once eternal ladder starts up you'll take it as a personal attack or something.

Like dont you want the new cards to do things?

Like if you want to just play the same old beater decks forever that's what's standard is for

And man once Siren song gets nerfed there I'll destroy

Yeah just demolished karma sett with the king

I kinda wonder if eternal was just how lor was meant to be played

Oh wait

Yeah I'm familiar with ramp you forgot I hit diamond with it on my own

Saying you can burried in ice king is like saying you can burried in ice anything

Karma sett the good deck did nothing

So poro king actually beat thresh nasus in eternal so I can already tell you the archetype is more viable there

Is it gonna instantly beat every single net deck?

No that's not how memes work

Is it better than 60% Evelyn vs 42% poros yes no doubt

So why exactly are Evelyn and Illoi dominating standard?

Poro king at 42% illoi or Evelyn at 60%

Thats a 18% winrate difference the largest we have ever seen in the history of LOR

It comes down to two thing tempo, and numbers.

without the appropriate numbers of spells and answers standard basically boils down to who can jam the biggest numbers faster

And no two champions do this better than Evelyn and Illoi right now

Getting those exodia 10/10 statlines to 20/20 is easily done with sirens song and spawn and no other deck can really compete with that or have reliable answers with our current card pool

You can run illoi with jarvan, or with Swain, you can run Evelyn with Kayla, or Lucian, or Nora

The point is the deck doesn't matter much

Sure the percentages vary by 2% but it's the archetype and the champion that's doing the heavy lifting

So what will Riot do?

Will they nerf spawn and Siren song?

Will they try to recapture the dynamic playstyle of LOR in a limited format

Or will they let the numbers slug fest continue with all the new champions perform 49% - 42% just because they are doing the normal LOR thing?

And right now normal is bad

Numbers good

Spawn or Siren song regardless of the winner numerically these are the two top tier decks right now

In fighting games Evelyn and illoi would be SSS tier characters

As in unfair and stupid to play much else

Yeah Evelyn's at like 60% with Siren song probably gets nerfed for its mana cost

You dont want to see every deck basically devolve into an Evelyn beater deck

Because when the answer to every question is Siren song you know you're in standard

Not that I can criticise by best solution to every deck being a beater deck in standard was to play illoi the other beater deck

So do you want to play illoi? 

Or so you want to play Evelyn?

The meta is wiiiide open

Siren song vs spawn

Coooool beans!

Fun format

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Wow I hit Plat in standard with a beater deck

Sooooo proud thank you thank you

I thought I'd level your Gwen for you since that was the limit of your creativity

Rofl anyways 🤣 😂  if you can hit masters hit masters I can I've done it multiple times

If you want to troll me troll me it doesn't matter

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Boy spirits unleashed, braum, scargrounds

Real decks, that play like masters level decks

Ohhhh baby that's better no xolani in sight

Gotta wait 3 months for ladder but I don't care eternal is soooooo much better for poros

You dont just jam 1 drops and pray you actually play the game!

See thats my problem I tried to make poros and ambush and all this stuff work in standard

And no in standard you play 1 10/10 body and thats is game over you win or two 5/5s 

In eternal you play 1 drop to stall, and then from there it's all synergy baby just all good stuff that you should be doing and make sense

In that world I'm unstopable

In a beater world I'm bored to death

I think the intention was that ambush, poro king, and tribal would be revitalized in standard with this set

But instead it unintentionally push Evelyn xolani to 60%

Literally the opposite of what the devs wanted

They wanted you to flip stuff at burst and deny things

What are you denying there's no spells?

Anyway I digress cool set Riot I can't wait to see its impact in the extended card pool but right now you pushed Xolani Evelyn to 60% making it the best beater deck in the history of beater decks

Good job

Also I'm fairly certain that there isn't a single playable Ionia deck in this format

It's like do you want to play illoi and win that way 

Or do you want to play Evelyn and win that way and I say Evelyn charitably it's basically the xolani deck

Why do we have to suffer through Unga bunga for 3 months when we could be playing ryze, or control, or ramp, or tribal, or a good aggro deck or literally any single deck that isn't make big body fast

Like are you guys honestly having fun playing this way?

I can't be the only person in LOR who actually likes having his cards and deck choices and champ choices and region choices and archetype choices

Literally everything standard doesn't have right now

70% of decks essentially boil down to some sort of beater list, xolani is everywhere, nobody bothers to level champs

I'll be honest I don't know if I can play this garbage for another 3 months

 It might just be a rerun of last time where I break for 3 months so I don't have to watch 5/5 beaters be a  miracle cure to deck building

let's jam Xolani into every deck cuz again answers don't exist and playing one body on curve is how you win

It's sad really the lack of skill expression, the lack of anything

I know when eternal ladder comes out that ambush, poros, zoo they will have a proper home

but right now it's beaters or bust, and that's sad

I'll let you know where the proper homes for this stuff goes in 3 months, but right now standard is assssss like it's always been

any deck that is champ reliant is roughly sitting at 45% any deck that just plays big dudes fast is at 60%

cuz again spells dont exist, so just do thing thing thing into xolani and do that for every deck everytime

no bounces, no removal, no flocks, no answers, no dissintigrates, just xolani.......alllllllll the time

This is the balanced format we chose?

Also why do I have to wait 3 months every time for eternal ladder the more competitive format?

I don't know, I can't even play braum with poro king, you know how much he will positively impact winrates on his own?

Probably 10% because poros without braum isn't poros, it's poros with Xolani once again cuz no answers

Just to prove a point I went 6/0 with illoi jarvan at 100% climb rate 

Now every meme you guys built instantly lost

So you had to just spam 1 drops with demon boy

So thats one inch of tasting my climbing potential which I use to hit masters

Basically you just roll through the ranks

Also dammmm bilgewater poro down to 42% how lowwww can ya go

Till the meta settles and the memes die?

You guys are funny you think winning in gold matters?

I absolutely threw in eternal till the meta settled and then I ran the table to masters

I really dont care what happens before that :)

So did you ever win that game if I had a single elusive poro?

No

Yeah that asol deck also 45%

Literally play anything else

You finally just gave up and started playing my deck eh?

Good calllll

Enjoy being in the winners circle, eventually everyone will convert thats how it goes

When the eternal master joins standard