GoddammitDontShootMe

Certainly looks nice if you can play a 1-drop on turn 1, then this on 2. Might not happen enough for this to be amazing.

I guess this will go in whatever deck runs [card]The One-Amalgam Band[/card].

I'm not sure 2 attack lifesteal will be very useful, especially since you can't drop this, then buff it the same turn. So that leaves handbuffs. Also, this is a Lucio reference, isn't it?

Does this really need the condition on the battlecry with that cost and stats?

Well, this could lead to a lot of early game face damage.

While I certainly don't feel like evaluating the pool of legendaries, I suspect you won't get a truly helpful card that often.

I guess best case scenario it's turn 4 and you've managed to have two minions survive since last turn, but how often is that going to happen?

I don't know what you would target with this, probably something with a nice aura effect that as less health than this (which might be nearly everything).

Probably not going to be very good. Druid might have been able to make use of the finale, had [card]Wildheart Guff[/card] not been leaving Standard. Probably still garbage even so.

The after this attacks bit doesn't care if the player initiated the attack, does it? If it doesn't, then nice.

Looks pretty good for memes. No serious deck will want this of course.

Return of [card]Pogo-Hopper[/card]? This grows half as fast, but it has charge. I don't imagine many classes besides Rogue will like this since Valeera has all the bounce cards.

This might enable some shenanigans.

I'm going to skip looking through the pool of Wild 5-Cost minions and just assume this will low-roll more often than not.

[card]Dead Man's Hand[/card] for everybody I guess, except with a body this time.

Every class is getting a weapon, so perhaps every class will want to include this. I can only hope because that will say something about the quality of the new weapons.

This should be interesting. The finale guarantees you steal at least one of your opponent's card before this dies, which is nice. Not that I'd want this do stay alive for long as I think I would rather play my …

Looks like a nice hand-buff card. In other words, a card for Blood DK and maybe Murloc Warlock.

I don't know what the chances are this will actually put something useful on the top of the opponent's deck. I guess it could still be useful even if they can't play it right away.

Nice Spinal Tap reference. I don't know who wouldn't want an extra mana crystal and extra card in their hand. Well, except for decks that don't tend to hold a lot of cards or tend to win before 10 mana.