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Uldum Druid Flavor Text
- Elise the Enlightened - From cartographer to combatant, Elise has taken the road less traveled - because no one else could find it on a map.
- Untapped Potential - The official term is "strategic laziness."
- Anubisath Defender - Also comes running when he hears a can opener.
- Crystal Merchant - I won't ask about your mana curve if you don't ask where I got these.
- Overflow - It's a high five followed by a low tide.
- Hidden Oasis - Amazing that it's been hidden, given the twenty-foot treant splashing around in it.
- Garden Gnome - "Greetings, my little shrubs... It's whittlin' time."
- Oasis Surger - Surge's up, dude!
- BEEEES!!! - Right before CEEEES!!!
- Worthy Expedition - This isn't where I parked my mount.
Uldum Hunter Flavor Text
- Dinotamer Brann - Brann's new dino-taming hobby is going well - his pet can already make him sit, stand, and roll over!
- Unseal the Vault - "Huh... That's a nice card back."
- Scarlet Webweaver - Isn't that nice? The spider made the explorer a sleeping bag!
- Wild Bloodstinger - Tame Bloodstingers would politely invite your minion to tea.
- Swarm of Locusts - Good things never come in swarms.
- Hyena Alpha - Everything the sun touches is ours - so long as it's already dead.
- Ramkahen Wildtamer - She gets to decide what cards go to the Hall of Fame.
- Desert Spear - Goes on the right, next to the desert spoon.
- Hunter's Pack - Oh look! It's a trap!
- Pressure Plate - The appropriate dishware for stressful situations.
Uldum Mage Flavor Text
- Reno the Relicologist - All his life, Reno Jackson was only a gatling wand away from becoming the greatest and most terrifying mage who ever existed.
- Raid the Sky Temple - "Why can't I hold all these scrolls?"
- Puzzle Box of Yogg-Saron - "PUT THE BOX DOWN, RENO!"
- Tortollan Pilgrim - A tortollan made it to the desert!
- Naga Sand Witch - 5 mana footlong, anyone?
- Dune Sculptor - Come for the magic show, stay for the sand castles.
- Arcane Flakmage - Ancient pandaren proverb: He who is without secrets lacks flak.
- Cloud Prince - "In West Cloudidelphia, born and raised; flinging lightning for the rest of my days."
- Flame Ward - Not to be confused with the burn ward.
- Ancient Mysteries - I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was TOTALLY aliens!
Uldum Paladin Flavor Text
- Sir Finley of the Sands - "The sands shall be my sea! And this scarab shall be my, er, strange and wriggly boat!"
- Making Mummies - "I do say, this gives me the vapors every single time!"
- Tip the Scales - Hold on, I need to get some murlocs to weigh in on this.
- Micro Mummy - The dramatically detailed terrifically trimmed replica of the real thing!
- Pharaoh's Blessing - Life hack: Sneeze near a pharaoh.
- Salhet's Pride - Pride cometh before the maul.
- Brazen Zealot - Some paladins really Light it up.
- Ancestral Guardian - No one knows whose ancestor he is, but he's still upset that you never call.
- Subdue - Like humility but more humiliating.
- Sandwasp Queen - Oooh, see that wasp! Watch that sting! Dig in the Sandwasp Queen!
Uldum Priest Flavor Text
- High Priest Amet - All minions are equal, but some minions are more equal than others.
- Activate the Obelisk - A one-eyed, one stone, towering purple minion healer.
- Plague of Death - Don't worry, there's a happy little funhouse right under that sand pit.
- Psychopomp - "Come with me if you want to re-live."
- Wretched Reclaimer - "Ok, here's the plan. We kill you, then bring you back." "Stronger?" "No, about the same."
- Holy Ripple - I still prefer the taste of banana fudge ripple.
- Grandmummy - A grandmummy's love is eternal.
- Sandhoof Waterbearer - Used to carrying for his team.
- Penance - This is what happens when you don't give a sincere apology.
- Embalming Ritual - "Guess what! We're getting a new cat."
Uldum Rogue Flavor Text
- Anka, the Buried - "You look familiar. Were you at my first funeral?"
- Bazaar Burglary - Just when you set up your "All-Natural Scented Candles" at the farmer's market and then some STUPID KOBOLD COMES AND TAKES THEM ALL!
- Shadow of Death - Making new friends takes skill.
- Whirlkick Master - C-c-combo!
- Bazaar Mugger - Premium muggings at a discount price.
- Sahket Sapper - "Here, you dropped this."
- Plague of Madness - Don't bring a candle to a knife fight.
- Hooked Scimitar - Oooooooooooow. I'm hooked on a scimitar!
- Clever Disguise - "It me! Togwaggle!"
- Pharaoh Cat - Mightiest of mousers, enduring in kingship of the upper and lower cat tree, conqueror of the red dot, the all-wise Catshepsut.
Uldum Shaman Flavor Text
- Vessina - She wasn't happy when Hagatha sent her back to Uldum. But her "angry" hiss sounds like her "happy" hiss, so no one knew the difference.
- Corrupt the Waters - This is why Hagatha is banned from public pools.
- Splitting Axe - The ancient shaman chant, "Control Axe, Control Vee."
- Plague of Murlocs - This is horrible! And adorable!
- Earthquake - Shake it, sh-sh-sh-shake it like a Kalimdor fissure.
- Mogu Fleshshaper - He's here to shape *clap* you up!
- Weaponized Wasp - Dr. Boom had one simple request: wasps with flippin' laser beams attached to their heads.
- Sandstorm Elemental - Doot doot doot doot doot [Pause] Doot doot doot doot doot DEE doot doot doot doot doot!
- EVIL Totem - A lot of people blame the parents when a totem goes bad.
- Totemic Surge - It's not really advanced shamanic magic, you just draw nasty eyebrows on them.
Uldum Warlock Flavor Text
- Dark Pharaoh Tekahn - He'll get that League of Explorers and their little murloc too!
- Supreme Archaeology - Archaeology is the discovery of rare and powerful artifacts. Supreme Archaeology is TAKING THEM!
- Riftcleaver - Brings you face to face with your destructive impulses.
- Diseased Vulture - He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket! THIS IS AN EX-VULTURE!
- Impbalming - With your complexion, Imp Balm is a great demonizer.
- Expired Merchant - The "best by" date is more like a guideline.
- Plague of Flames - This is fine.
- Neferset Thrasher - Tough to do skateboard tricks with four legs.
- EVIL Recruiter - I'm starting to think the lackeys aren't evil, just taken advantage of.
- Sinister Deal - "So, what's in the sack?" "Something... sinister." "Okay, it's a deal."
Uldum Warrior Flavor Text
- Armagedillo - We may never know what provoked it, but we will never forget the consequences.
- Hack the System - Anything can be hacked, if you're holding an axe.
- Livewire Lance - The lance is heavy but it's the battery pack that really does a number on the shoulders.
- Bloodsworn Mercenary - You look really hurt. You could use a friend!
- Tomb Warden - Also known as an ancient copy machine.
- Plague of Wrath - "Thanks, I HATE it!"
- Into the Fray - "You are in my FRAY!"
- Armored Goon - Armored except for non-critical areas, such as the head, torso, fists and thighs.
- Restless Mummy - Life-separation anxiety syndrome.
- Frightened Flunky - Some people just aren't cut out to be supervillain material.
Uldum Neutral Flavor Text
- King Phaoris - When you're the king of the cats, the whole desert is your litterbox.
- Colossus of the Moon - Strike him down, and you'll face the Colossus of the New Moon.
- Octosari - Eight arms of sand-flinging, foe-wringing, card-slinging fury!
- Siamat - TAUNT. TAUNT.
- Zephrys the Great - "Of course it's perfect, you're just not seeing how to use it."
- Blatant Decoy - "Hah! You is being tricked by ME! Togwaggle!"
- Desert Obelisk - The Obelisk of the Stars can hide an entire land from prying eyes! Or zap a rando.
- Mortuary Machine - The ankle bone's connected to the shin bone. The knuckle bone's connected to the... eh, it'll be fine.
- Body Wrapper - She uses pickle slices for the eyes. Keeps them well-preserved.
- Vulpera Scoundrel - A spell is a spell, but the mystery choice could be anything! (It's also a spell.)
- History Buff - Actually... what happened was...
- Mischief Maker - Fair trade is for noble-minded suckers with dignity and honor.
- Dwarven Archaeologist - She's making great progress on paying off that advanced degree.
- Mogu Cultist - Mogu cultists have the worst team-building exercises.
- Wrapped Golem - The end result of one of the greatest wrap battles of all time.
- Khartut Defender - Gesundheit!
- Conjured Mirage - What you see is Isiset.
- Sunstruck Henchman - There is E.V.I.L. here that DOES sleep.
- Infested Goblin - Trust us. DON'T go cheap on the scarab repellent.
- Generous Mummy - Yeah, she's mummified, but her money hasn't dried up!
- Quicksand Elemental - Use a light abrasive to buff blemishes away but use a heavy abrasive to debuff problems.
- Neferset Ritualist - The Neferset are great�they'll always make sure their friends are feline fine.
- Questing Explorer - Earned her merit badges the hard way - twelve zhevra hooves at a time.
- Living Monument - This is not the greatest card in the world. This is just a monument.
- Anubisath Warbringer - Some dogs will bring you a bone or a squeaky toy. This one brings war!
- Pit Crocolisk - PIT! Not PET!
- Wasteland Scorpid - After they get to a certain size, it doesn't matter if they're poisonous or not.
- Faceless Lurker - Longtime lurker, first time attacker.
- Phalanx Commander - Turns out he's really good at herding cats.
- Wasteland Assassin - They'll never see me coming, what with my glowing body, eyes and daggers.
- Bone Wraith - It uses only the eco-friendly bones from free-range humanoids.
- Golden Scarab - Who actually puts all the gold plating on these things, and why?
- Candletaker - "You no waaaake caaaandle!"
- Desert Hare - After they're caught, they're dessert hares.
- Temple Berserker - He's back. He's angry. And he's here to wrap things up.
- Bug Collector - The only one who likes BEEEES!!!
- Fishflinger - The scent of fish lingers on the fishflinger's fish fingers.
- Injured Tol'vir - Me-OW!
- Serpent Egg - These things go from "adorable danger noodle!" to "MY FACE IS MELTING!" all too quickly.
- Vilefiend - Dreamed of becoming a Stylefiend, but fel was never in season.
- Spitting Camel - Were you expectorating another bad pun?
- Kobold Sandtrooper - Stay while, take candle.
- Beaming Sidekick - Sure, I'll carry the water! And the food! And the tents! And the cursed monkey paw!
- Jar Dealer - What's in the jar? It could be anyone!
- Murmy - Unlike other mummies, they rolled him up with rice, sliced cucumbers, and soy sauce on the side.
Comments
I definitely thought BEEEES!!!'s text was going to be something like "The long-awaited answer to "Bees?"" as a reference to Cards Against Humanity. But the one we got is very good too.
Tough call for best flavour text of the set, but I would say Plague of Flames, Living Monument, Supreme Archaeology, Dark Pharaoh Tekahn, and Crystal Merchant are all strong contenders.
I was waiting for this news. So funny.
Hack the System ''Anything can be hacked, if you're holding an axe.'' ^^
[Hearthstone Card (Unseal the Vault) Not Found] - "Huh... That's a nice card back”
Is it just me or is the flavour text for this set a little flat compared to past sets?
There are a bunch of references (I'm pretty sure there's a Monty Python one in there as well), but this set feels like it doesn't have that same 4th-wall breaking self-conscious humour that other sets had, especially KotFT. I will always remember Professor Putricide's (Among his more notable inventions: A tentacle-groomer, a plague that would wipe out all life on Azeroth, and a fidget spinner) and Hagatha the Witch's (Curse-bringer, tree-twister, mother of wretched things…Hanzo main).
A boat is a boat, but the mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat!
Sandstorm Elemental - Doot doot doot doot doot [Pause] Doot doot doot doot doot DEE doot doot doot doot doot!
Best
Neferset Ritualist - The Neferset are great�they'll always make sure their friends are feline fine. I love that kind of humor.
I love Dark Pharaoh Tekahn's flavour text "He'll get that League of Explorers and their little murloc too!"
Khartut Defender's as well - "Gesundheit!".
And Desert Hare's - "After they're caught, they're dessert hares".
"Of course it's perfect, you're just not seeing how to use it."
I was always telling skill matters!
haha I already looked one by one at the flavor text. Hopefully it would unlock some sort of exploratory achievement.
Never disappointed by their flavour text. Awesome that they released it with the reveals this set, but more awesome to have it all in one post to digest and find the best ones 😁
Best Ones:
Crystal Merchant - I won't ask about your mana curve if you don't ask where I got these. (Heh, drugs)
Ancient Mysteries - I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was TOTALLY aliens! (Best meme)
Activate the Obelisk - A one-eyed, one stone, towering purple minion healer. (WOW this is a reference I haven't heard in a loooong time. Glad to find out Little Richard is still alive and well).
Vessina - She wasn't happy when Hagatha sent her back to Uldum. But her "angry" hiss sounds like her "happy" hiss, so no one knew the difference. (Imagining this genuinely delights me).
Diseased Vulture - He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket! THIS IS AN EX-VULTURE! (Always down for a good Monty Python reference!)
Living Monument - This is not the greatest card in the world. This is just a monument. (Ditto for Tenacious D references)
This is just a really cool and fun post! Love it